


Alone

by leoincolour



Category: Deadly Class (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Maria doesn't deserve this, Mentions of Chico
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 08:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18117485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoincolour/pseuds/leoincolour
Summary: Maria Salazar realizes one thing as she cries by herself in her bedroom.She's alone in the world.(A very short character study of Maria Salazar based off of the scene in her bedroom in 1x09.)





	Alone

_“I don't want to be alone tonight. Stay with me?”_

 

_“Of course.”_

 

Alone.

As Maria watched the little hand of the clock tick well past one, she realized one thing.

She is, and always will be, utterly alone.

Maria sinks to the floor, the empty bottle of tequila in her hand landing with a soft clink on the hardwood floor. She tucks her knees under her chin and stares at her reflection in the mirror.

Dead eyes stare back at her, mascara running.

She remembers telling Chico that she was dead, right before she slit his throat. He and El Diablo had taken so much from her, everything she had to offer snatched by the greedy men who just wanted her to do their bidding. They leave nothing behind for her, no scraps of the girl that she used to be. She's sucked dry by the very people who had spared her life, her own life taken out of her innocent hands. She's never lived for herself, but instead, simply survived.

Maria glances down at her hands, and for a second she swears she sees blood. Chico. Yukio. The innocent waiter. She's washed the blood away, but the feeling doesn't wash down the drain with it. Guilt stains her like the way Chico’s blood stained her white shirt, the one she had to throw away in a gas station bathroom.

She's put her life on the line for everyone, tried to fix it, tried to be better, to make it better, and all she gets is her good intentions thrown back in her face.

She fights for everyone, and yet, no one fights for her.

Marcus was supposed to be in her corner. Be her refuge.

Ever since he had fought _for_ Maria, defending her against Chico, she had been _so_ sure that he would always be by her side. It would be them against the world.

Apparently not.

Paranoia ate at her, jealousy and anger swirling in her stomach and clouding her vision every time she saw Marcus eye Saya like that. Or when she saw Saya brush against Marcus ever so subtly. Like she wouldn't notice.

Her best friend.

Well, she's not sure where they stand anymore. Their situation has them torn, pulled in different directions as Maria desperately clings onto what they used to have.

There's a part of her that misses how it used to be.

It was painful, but simpler.

Now, she feels like a house of cards. One wrong move and everything comes crumbling down. All her hard work, everything she had done to protect everyone she loves comes crashing down in a blink of an eye.

But somehow, it seems like it's all in vain.

Because at the end of the day, there's no one at Maria’s side.

Saya can't stand to look at her. All she gets is her sharp tongue and razor sharp snarks. Gone are the days of drinking strawberry wine in the park, dancing the night away. Now it’s cold glares and scowls.

Marcus is nowhere to be found. Maria trusts him with her life, but questions if that's a good decision. He seems to run to everyone _but_ her.

He doesn't even bother to apologize for anything.

And she still keeps running back to him. She loves him. Because, in those fleeting moments that he is hers, he makes her feel like she finally found a home.

But those moments are nothing but fleeting.

She’s trying _so_ hard, but nothing she does ever seems to be right in their eyes.

Maria brings a hand up to her face and is surprised to find it wet. She's crying again.

In a sudden flare of anger, she picks the empty tequila bottle up and throws it, hard. It shatters against the wall and sends glass flying in all directions, but Maria’s too lost in her emotions to care. She bites her lip to stall the crying and stands up on shaky legs, approaching the mirror.

The make up she had put on for Marcus is ruined beyond repair, her lipstick smudged and black tears streak her face.

_“The difference between old friends and new friends is that new friends just haven't let you down yet.”_

That statement echoes in her head, and it still rings true.

Everyone she had put her trust in, her love in, has left her behind in the dust. All alone to pick up the pieces of her that they had shattered.

Chico.

Saya.

Marcus.

Here she stood, alone in her bedroom, surrounded by broken glass and empty promises.

Maria wipes the running makeup and streaking tears away with the heels of her hands. She clenches her jaw and stares herself down, taking a shuddery breath.

If she’s alone in the world, so be it.

If no one is going to fight for her, she’s just going to have to fight for herself.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> maria as a character strikes close to home as i suffer from bipolar disorder as well. her experiences are oddly relatable and i put in a lot of my own emotions into this writing. it's mostly a two am drabble, but still holds it's own as a character study. it's currently unedited, but i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it.


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